Just ME

LOVING IS A FEELING THAT BRINGS BOTH JOY AND PAIN TO MY HEART. JOY FROM BEING WITH YOU, BEING FILLED WITH AN EMOTION SO DEEP AND TENDER THAT NO OTHER FEELING CAN COMPARE. PAIN FROM KNOWING THAT I AM SO IN LOVE THAT I AM MORE VULNERABLE THAN I HAVE EVER.

“I was and never will in LOVE.” This am what I thought and honestly speaking I was going well, as always deny for romantic and emotional movies and novels. But this morning the streak ends. More specifically it doesn’t end but just got a bump on the way.

Albeit I knew the story and the characters of the movie, I still watched it while eating self cooked sandwiches at lunch. Well after finishing that 2 hours movie I reacted normally like others who already watched that movie.... I cried. This wasn’t a problem if I cried for a minute or so but tears fell for half an hour continuously, with short gasps. After I finish up with this lachrymose act I found myself in obfuscation. Indubitably “Marley and Me” is a wonderful movie, but Marley (the dog in the movie, who died in the end) wasn’t my dog, I never met him, then why I was crying so badly....

After a long thought I was able to unveil my obscure mind, I was whimpering because it really hurts when someone left you alone stranded on the journey of your life. And if that someone is the one who doesn’t care whether you are rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb but is ready to give his/her heart, it makes you feel rare, pure and special. You not just lost them but lost your identity too.

 Definitely I cannot fall in love within 2 hours, probably love is always inside me and Marley has just evoked it. And that is what I realize it is not that love is not meant for me, I just don’t want to be meant for love. Because the biggest problem with LOVE is 

“The greater your capacity to love,

The greater your capacity to feel the pain” - Jennifer Aniston.

My First Interview

After a long time I have got something to share. Although this could be posted a week earlier but as usual “Mera mann nahi tha”. But someone remind me that I should write something on my blog no matter whatever the case may be, so here it is…..

The day was 20^th September, 2010 just a normal day in Delhi, was raining pretty hard, cars and traffic jams were everywhere. I was sophisticatedly dressing myself in formals (although forgot the tie). After dressing I looked at my wrist watch it was 8:15 hrs. And then my Buaji called me “Cherry have your breakfast first” I had no appetite but don’t even want to deny the home cooked meal (as mostly miss it). So after having my breakfast I was all set for the mission for which I undergone lots of phases of mental tension and dilemma. The mission of getting rejected in a company’s interview…….   

Yes that was primarily my aim, but not from the day 1 when I gave my name for this company. At that time the aim was definitely to get selection, but as time passes something happened and I started thinking that I should rather leave this company. Well, the reason being somehow someone leaked the information regarding a company which is not just better than this one but is BEST in its field, and that field is one of my area of interests. And as per our college’s placement policy if I get selected in any company I have to wait till 80% of my classmates didn’t get the job. Well the company which has the sobriquet as “Daddy Company” and for which I was trying to avoid my first decision: Telcon (TATA – Hitachi) was NTPC. Big name isn’t it.

So, I with my uncle was going to the Telcon’s office for the selection proceedings (which included a technical + aptitude written test, a group discussion and a technical interview). Well, I have to reach the office at 9:30 a.m. but due to traffic jams I got half an hour late. And that was something which I really don’t want to do, obviously I was going for rejection but like this is something after which I can’t even say “yaar maine to poori koshish kari thi, unhe knowledge pasand nahi ayi to kya kar sakte hai?”. Well, as I move out of the car I was thinking about my 9 other friends who were also there for the interviews as they had called me twice during my way to the office. But to my surprise I saw a bunch of guys who were not from our college…. I hurriedly went inside the office and on the sofa I found my 9 MANITians, I asked “kitne aye hai be?” as I realized that we were not alone who were called for the placements on the same day. Avinash answered “60 hai bhai, poora north aya hai haq mangne”. Well it was a good thing for me as now it would be pretty easy to get rejected in first round itself, but suddenly my inner voice said “Buddy if you are not gonna compete among these 6 NITs how you can even think of Off Campus competition which have whole nation ,FYI NTPC is awesome but… you to know that during On Campus interviews it always call for Top 3 in general for the interviews, sorry to say dude but you are 8^th in the class where you gonna throw remaining 5, PLUS if you are going to avoid this job your next company will going to avoid you – Nature’s Rule laddie.” Sort of lecture hmmm…..

Well the presentation of the company begins and as the HR. brought attention towards the salary and perks I realized that I should get selected in this company. As the income is handsome PLUS after 1 year of training the hike in it is awesome also I will get a chance to visit the head office of Hitachi for training in Hydraulics (also one of my favorite), which is in Japan, it has a brand of TATA and most important a perk which no other company gives this company Telcon is giving it twice, yes they are giving a Honeymoon Package…

So thank god before the start of the written test I had made up my mind that I want to get in this company, although I wasn’t tensed as you know NTPC was yet to come.

So the written test began and what I saw is the paper was of really good quality but without negative marking and we have to solve 80(60 technical and 20 aptitude) questions in 1 hour. I give my best with whatever I had from my few days preparations, and left everything else for fate. Well I got selected in written and then group discussion but the interview panel made me to wait quite long for the interviews as I was the second last guy to face the interview. Well, nothing serious happened in the interview as the guy was asking me question from my favorite subjects but was just trying to trap me. Some questions were really awesome and I tried my best to answer them correctly but couldn’t get the perfect.

Unlike other companies I don’t had to wait much for the results as they were announced within half an hour after my interview. And as the HR. called my name, with a smile I congratulate myself that now I have a Job…

(P.S.: Although still waiting for the joining letter, hope to receive soon. And ya I had a medical test also the next day and that was really a fantastic experience as the receptionist was pretty interesting and…….)   

Campus Rumpus

Seems like PRESENT has gained some pace, time is slipping away with celerity and FUTURE has arrived before…..

Campus drive has started in our college with the first company for Mechanical being India Bulls Power. Although the company is surely a pro in retail sector but a tyro in power sector. And that is the reason why unlike company’s HR the income and job profile weren’t so beautiful. Still some students gave it a try. And company selected 2 from Mechanical and 6 from Civil (as expected, because the most recent project is still in erecting phase) at an annual package of 3.5 lacs. The selection procedure consists of 2 written tests, aptitude and technical clearing which a candidate had to appear for the interview.

The interview phase was really exciting even though I wasn’t giving the interview I still was there in the training and placement area just in order to feel the heat. And I think the heat really burnt me out. You can see the tension by just having a glimpse of perilous visage of the candidates. They all were trying to remain cool and calm till the end.

Well the other 69 Mechies are still waiting for their placements; let’s see when we are going to get chance….

Moving Back into Track

After a long time I am writing, not just because I was busy in my grueling industrial training which ran for 6 long weeks and neither due to a function at home rather I was not so agog to write anything. Well, such thing usually happens with those who live alone, you psyche out due to some reason and then you lose track. And it takes some time to bring you back in the right form.

Albeit I haven’t been able to express my feelings, I had a really good time. I met with all of my cousins after a long time, I am able to complete my long training with an overall gain, and most importantly I was able to bid adieu my two best friends (who have left Bhopal once and for all) although this wasn’t so good but the good thing was actually hidden in the enjoyment we all did for the last time (so assumed). And whenever I will reminisce this event one thing will surely comes into my mind, so called by my friend As…if “The Perilous Fountain”. Well, it wasn’t a thing which I should discuss in detail but in short I was about to die. We all were discussing the physics behind a sudden change in the lineament of a fille whom we all knew, and suddenly I slipped away and found myself in the danger, fortunately I came to senses in right time and nothing serious happened. In spite of all this I really love that event (doesn’t mean that I want it again), but it was something new and that to a level I have never been before.

So far much happened in life, now my college’s final year has begun and the same campus rumpus is going to start soon probably in few days. Hope that I will not loose track again……

ARRIVEDERCI PALS

Today when I look back it appears as if I have finished my school yesterday and get into a college. Although 4 years have passed since I last attended my school,but I never felt it the way I am feeling it right now, reason being for last 4 years I surely have left school but not SCHOOL FRIENDS. I can always see them around me, near me. But now this all is coming to an end. By the end of this month (or may be by the end of next month) everyone will be far away from each others reach. We will be incognizant of when we are going to meet again, unaware of when we are going to listen the same vivacious voices.......

The end of this fantastic, adventurous era is near and it is inevitable. Obviously, from now onwards we cannot meet each other every time we wish but what we can do is to close our eyes and think of all the beautiful moments we had, which made our life a zest. Well for me it is like living Alone in a strange world(well I should make it clear to everyone that for last 4 years I have been living SINGLE but not ALONE). But, I know my friends will reside always in my heart..........

What I can do is pray that this FRIENDSHIP never ends and MAY THE FORCE BE WITH ALL OF US.
(P.S. click on the Tittle to listen a song dedicated to all my parting friends)

Happy Mother's Day

A small poem to a special person without whom I didn't even have my identity.

I received sentience in her laps,

As if awoke from an aeon nap.

She is the one, whom I watched day and night,

Yes, I believe I was in LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

I kept on calling her name,

As she is my world and my fame.

Because of her I perceived this lovely nature,

As Love, Kindness and Caresses are all parts of her beautiful feature.

My success makes her feel proud,

And she can identify me in lot of crowd.

Her love and care enriched me with zest,

And after that I can maneuver the strongest tempest.

Her happiness is my shine,

And it makes my life properly align.

I know this is tacit, but she is my life’s important hue,

Mamma I love You.